<THOUGHTS

This is to a Beloved Dinosaur
February 22 2013

I don't know what to do. I think I've just witnessed a murder take place. Hamish just killed a Dinosaur. The Dinosaur showed up with Hamish here in my home and was needing to go bathe because it was in the process of defecating. Dinosaurs like to do that in their bath water so that they can have a good wash and get clean and proper. So the Aliens had found a local pool house and Hamish was having the Dinosaur go there. It was night hours and closed but I told them that they can't go there because the water there contains chlorine which isn't good for the skin. "Then why do humans bathe there", I was asked. I said that I don't care about human skin and well-being, but for the Dinosaur.

I offered for the Dinosaur to have a bath in my home in the bath tub. It has good clean water without chlorine and also without added fluorine, our bath water is good enough to drink it is really super. Since I noticed that the Dinosaur was defecating I said that it would be just fine for him to do that in the bath tub, that could easily be washed and the water flushes into the sewer anyway. It would be just fine. I could fill up the tub with water if he wants some. I think the Dinosaur spent some time in the tub. I remained in my bedroom because these guys visit me in a higher dimension so I don't want to do things if we're not in the same place fair and square.

Dinosaur touched the bath tub and asked me what it was made of. I said that it is probably coated with a calcium, it is a nice smooth white porcelain tub. He touched it many many times with his hand, letting me know how he felt it. Dinosaur told me about how I've said that eating pigs is the same as eating Dinosaurs. I said that I don't agree with eating Dinosaurs.

Dinosaur said a few more things, but I didn't write all those down, and now I regret that I didn't. The last thing Dinosaur said while alive was, that he had been given a choice by Hamish to either be beaten to death or to die while watching me. He had chosen to die while watching me. Next thing I saw the Dinosaur's chest had been sliced open and Hamish had his red scaly hand groping inside of the Dinosaur's abdomen. A big thick flap with a white soft interior was open. I didn't see any yellow fat or red blood or organs sticking out or bodily fluids oozing out. The Dinosaur was still alive and seemed uncomfortable but not in pain. It was not fighting but seemed uncomfortable.

I made threats at Hamish. I said that I would have to put a knife into Hamish's head. That Hamish was a murderer. I said that if he hurts Dinosaurs then he is hurting me. I said many things, also many harsh things. No matter how much I would ever have loved Hamish Dragon,

Tell them that then I will take an axe. - says Hamish now for me to write here
No, Hamish. Stop it. Stop the murdering. Stop it all. No more. - me
We just wanted to look at the tub. - a Dinosaur?
I thought Hamish ate the Dinosaur? Did he? - me
Yes. He ate the flesh. - Hamish?
We are not suing you for your bad hotel. But it did not have any amenities. - Hamish? about the tub not being filled up with water? (all these in original English)
We don't just want to give them banter. We want them to feel love. That is why we brought them to you. - Hamish?
I don't understand? (Was this an upgrade?) - me

As much as I have loved Hamish, if he is a murderer then I immediately side with the Dinosaurs. The Dinosaurs, you must understand, are not animals, or little critters. They are people, like you and me, only more so. The Dinosaur had even snickered with me while watching Hamish, when I had said during the arrangements of a tub for him that "both Hamish and me will take care of our Dinosaurs", and the Dinosaur had watched Hamish closely and snickered because surely Hamish doesn't do a good thing for them! He had thought that was funny, what I said. They are so full of life, even up until their very last moment of life.

Next I saw an image with Hamish's mouth right up at that white open flap of the Dinosaur's chest with Hamish squatting down on the floor by the Dinosaur that had stopped moving. I can't do this anymore, I can't live with these beasts. Hamish has to be put to sleep, doesn't he? He has to be terminated, doesn't he? I am living with a dangerous breed, like having a loved pitbull terrier that just ate the someone's child, and you realize the best thing you can do is to put it to sleep, because this can't go on. And the sad thing is, that this isn't the first time I've had this very same experience with Hamish eating a Dinosaur and me having these very same feelings.

Oh, how I suffer. How my heart crumbles and dies for the Dinosaurs. How can I live now? How do I go on? How can I make my life a tribute to every Dinosaur that once lived? How can my life make it alright? How can I take what beauty and richness is in the mind and heart and soul of a Dinosaur and somehow apply that to my life, so that he may go on living, through me? How can I possibly embody that beautiful intelligence, bright mind, curiosity, friendliness, observant nature, their fun snickering and good jokes, their love of baths, the way that they notice everything, and how they see fun in many plain everyday things. How can my life be anywhere near as valuable and important as that of a Dinosaur. It would take hundreds of human lives to come ever so close to what a Dinosaur life means. I cannot do it, I cannot bear this burden alone.

I try to doubt now. Maybe I had seen it wrong. Of course, I know that Hamish likes to eat Dinosaurs, but maybe just now I had seen it wrong. Maybe not this Dinosaur, and maybe not now. Maybe I will see this Dinosaur still alive, still making jokes and having fun with me and sharing his many discoveries of life's plain fun things with me, as he snickers with me. He will say typical Dinosaur things again, and he will be alive, and Hamish will have - beyond all doubts - found Dinosaur a lovely fresh bath to soak up in and splash around.

The Dinosaur will be alive, the Dinosaur will be happy. He will go to bed tonight feeling happy and safe, well-cared for and with not a care in his world. He will be with other pleasant Dinosaurs, well-fed, healthy and well. He will return to snicker with me, and he will remain and always be more life than what hundreds of humans could match together. And I won't have to go to bed having known death. And Hamish will still be my pet. Everything will be alright, I don't have to cry. I can go to bed denying, or hoping for a world that does not exist.

See what General Patton says to me about this in one of my sequel books. I did not want to post that conversation here not to ruin the shrine.

Bless Heart and Rest In Peace. You are the most beautiful life that had ever lived. You make this universe living, more so than the stars light up the sky. And you will never know of your own beauty, because that is part of your beauty, to be so pure innocent and humble of a being. When your yellow citrine eyes see the world, it comes to life. And when your eyes close, the world dies and fades away. And I don't know how to live anymore without you.

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