<THOUGHTS

Fire Engine Red Scales and Flowers
June 01 2013

Today, I learned that Hamish loves the female choir in this song.

Thuban Praying Mantis ET wanted me to engage with Captain Richard Swansea and it in sexual activities. I was repulsed and disgusted and said no like I usually do. But this time they listened. And they gave up on forcing me to be involved. Instead I got to enjoy a wonderful and magical evening with Hamish.

It rained a lot today so even nature feels calm tonight. It is a quiet evening outside and the air still smells fresh after the rains subsided. It is a few minutes to midnight and I am sitting in bed in a dark room taking in the night. Today we planted the flowers for the balcony. I chose fire engine red pelargoniums, in honor of Hamish of course. Can you believe it that Dragon chose to spend his evening right there on the balcony, sitting underneath those fire engine red pelargonium flower baskets, enjoying just being there?

I had told Hamish that I had chosen flowers that "resemble his scales" because I "honor him". And Hamish loves flowers, flowers are among his favorite things. He especially loves yellow flowers. As I had gone under the covers in my dark room, it was just me and Hamish. Everything was quiet and peaceful all around. Me in bed lying all alone. And Hamish sitting slumped on the balcony underneath the fire engine red pelargoniums. Neither of us spoke. We were just resting, both in our own places. And I was so connected to him, I was so humbled and privileged to have been let into the mind of a Dragon. I was aware of every thought and sensation of him. Every twitch of his body, the way he feels his skin, every breath, his thoughts, I was a part of it all. So close.

He enjoys flowers. A Dragon was enjoying sitting comfortably underneath the flower boxes on the balcony. I have not found Hamish on the balcony before. He just sat there, underneath the flower boxes, enjoying being in the presence of bright fire engine red flowers, that I had said were there because they honor him. He sees colors so vividly, his color vision is superb. Red, but also yellow and orange really stand out for him. I have seen through his eyes.

He thought about his woven bathroom rug not being there for him in the bathroom. He thought about how he would like to have yellow flowers. He pictured how he would like to wash himself in the bathroom with water. He wants to wash himself on his back hump. I offered to wash him of course. He said that if I do I would have to be careful so that the blunt orange bumps on his back hump do not rupture. I said that I would be careful. He asked me where he should put his shedded scales. Because he used to collect them on the woven rug. That rug has not been there since it got wet when the bath tub had flooded across the floor.

I don't want to come in there to your bed. - Hamish says now in English
Why not Hamish? Where do you want to be? - me
... I am here. - Hamish shows me a mental image of the pelargoniums in the flower boxes. He wants to be with his flowers.
I love you Dragon. You are welcome here. - me
With Sergeant Wilkes. - either Hamish or Sergeant Wilkes said

I had asked Hamish if he could become visible for me and visit me in my dimension. I had told him that my deepest wish in the whole world was to see him. He had then said that it is up to Sergeant Wilkes to give permission. I said to Hamish that Sergeant Wilkes would not give permission.

I am taking your eggs. Get ready for me to break in. - Hamish
You are welcome here Hamish. - me
My eggs. - Hamish in my native language

Hamish. Bright fire engine red Dragon Turtle. This morning he was especially bright and orange. His body was for some reason soaked in the orange sticky fluid that oozes through burst blunt orange bumps. The sticky fluid makes him glow neon orange.

There is something very special and unique about Hamish's body. The bright fire engine red color, soft turtleshell cushion on his upper back, the tiny little sock puppet face on the end of a long tubular neck, the orange blunt bumps in two rows from the forehead along the neck and on the arms, the flat duck feet, and that sticky fluid that oozes through his blunt orange bumps when they rupture. It all gives a very distinct and striking overall impression of Hamish that is more than just visual. It is a signature presence.

Hamish has so many things going for him that seem designed to make an impression. All of these elements are very striking and make a deep impression. It is Hamish. Bright fire engine red, sticky neon orange fluid, turtleshell hump back, blunt orange bumps, and duck feet. He is fantastic.

And just watching and being part of his thoughts and sensations as he lie under the pelargonium flower boxes, and I lie in bed, being so close to this Dragon. I can love him more than I love myself. We are so close.

The universe was formed when a girl saw and found a Dragon Turtle
Life is the breath of a Dragon
Flowers have colors that only Dragon's eyes can see
Things are felt through the soft feet of a Dragon Turtle
Yes-No, means No

Onions smell bad
Harry Potter is a really good movie
And Japanese carp fish open and close their mouth because they are doing palate clicks at Dragon

Love is when a girl can know a Dragon
Kissy Feet bathing in a creek

Hamish is a living being. I have connected so close to him. When you live with someone, you come to realize that it is the moments that make life living. When you're with someone you love so much it hurts, the world changes and you try to make sense out of it. Life is now not just about being, not just about me doing my thing. I share my life with someone I love, and that changes everything.

Life is in those precious moments, like watching Harry Potter movie with Hamish and he thanks me for having let him see it. Life is found in Hamish standing in flowerbeds looking for yellow flowers. Life is when he said No to lobsters, and to crabcakes. Life is lived and passes and is lost forever, and I realize that the moments that meant the most to me were those with Hamish. I love him so much that the universe almost crumbles because my love for him almost makes the world make sense, but then it doesn't.

I will never be a human again. I only want to know the life that is in Hamish.

A person embedded within fire engine red scales, and he grooms those scales. He wants to know where to leave his sheddings. Soft kissy duck feet that feel the floor and all the rugs, that enjoy just standing on a soft rug. Someone who enjoys just being and feeling a rug underneath the feet, or seeing the color of flowers, or the smell of flowers and of men's cologne. Does Hamish know why time passes or why we even live? He just enjoys life, he lives in the moment, sitting underneath flower boxes on the balcony with bright fire engine red pelargoniums in them.

He eats his meals and he lives with other people and with other races. He has a Dragon Turtle girlfriend in the mountains. What does he think of her, when he sees someone who looks like him? He lives with humans, with other Draconian type races, with Dinosaurs, Thuban praying mantis dolphins, hybrids, and even me. Where in this does he fit an understanding of himself? How does he think of himself? What is Hamish, to Hamish? And what is the world to Hamish?

He eats and he bathes and he breathes through those nostrils. His body makes exhales and grunt-purrs and belches in response to his emotions. He stomps his feet real fast up and down when he gets excited. If time is evasive and somebody's life fades away into nothing when we die, then that fabric of time and space in which Hamish stomped his feet real fast on the bathroom rug and that made me shriek and chuckle like a little girl, those are the substance that always remains. The universe takes moments like those and never lets them go, even if time goes so much that mountains wither and planets explode and stars die, there will always be moments like those where somebody precious was alive and saw the world.

If I could melt and go inside of Hamish. If I could live inside those Dragon scales, and feel and touch the world with his kissy feet. If the world would give to him everything that he wanted, if the world would love him endlessly, like I do. Palate clicks, that mean I love you in Dragon language. The only thing that has ever mattered in my life, was giving Hamish good moments in his life. Was being here for him.

All the nights I have been merged and one with his exhales. When we connect telepathically so that we can speak and communicate, it is more than just words that connect. We feel each other, we breathe in sync. And I feel what he touches, I sense every nuance of his thoughts. I feel when his nostrils flare, and how his exhales carry his feelings. I read his body language so well.

I am not interested in math! - Hamish in a sudden rage that startled me and got me off guard, seems totally irrelevant too
What Hamish? What now Dragon? - me
I wasn't saying it to you. - Hamish
Oh. Sorry then. - me
I was making Malik know. - Hamish

A tiny sock puppet Dragon face, that sits on the end of a long tubular neck. Someone behind those eyes. Little nostrils that flare when he breathes, or sniffs at things. I would live and die for him. He is a somebody. He makes sense of his life.

I don't want you to be a doctor anymore. - Hamish
Why Hamish? Why not? - me
Because we have taken all of your eggs! And some of them were really good! - Hamish
Hamish, don't ever leave me... - me
Me?? I am surprised. - either Hamish or black reptilian, it seemed to be a statement to say "I am surprised, it is not a matter of us leaving you for we won't, but rather a question of if you would leave us, and we don't want you to"

Sock Feet Turtle, Dragon Kissy Feet and Dragon Scales and Honored Scutes. I love You.

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