<THOUGHTS

I don't enjoy alien contact
June 24 2013

Sex games with Zeta

Last night I was begging the aliens to let me have a conscious encounter. I know that they abduct me at nights and that they bring me to them, just that they won't let me stay awake for it or to remember. I begged and I pleaded. Zetas showed up. They dominated me in bed and told me that it was their "porn", to dominate. They can use their mind powers to make my body move. They can push me and prop me, spread my legs, or slap me into the wall. They are often very harsh about it. I had a feeling that they liked it, and hearing them refer to it as their "porn" certainly made sense.

Hamish was doing it too. Hamish was superimposing himself with me and slapping me around too. I let them do it, I don't mind. Also there is a very sexual feeling associated with it, and I feel very comfortable with my Hamish. I've known him as my best friend for nearly two years now. I wish he would do more and more often. I told the aliens that I wanted to please Hamish, I wanted to give him pleasure, but that didn't make them do more of this "porn" with me than they already were. Making me think that it doesn't matter what I say, they won't do any more or less depending on what I think.

It is a very intimate experience when they toss me around. They use their mind in a similar way as they do telepathy for communication of words and messages, only that this time they place their mind so closely into me and in a different way that our bodies overlap and I feel and see their bodies as well as I see my own. It is more intimate than sex, and it can certainly feel far more ecstatic, sexual and orgasmic than any sex I've ever had with humans. In the beginning when I was only getting to know Hamish he used to do these things to me fairly often. I call it our honeymoon period.

Reptilians love to do the conquest, this tossing and overlapping thing, and they make it a game about dominance. But the Zetas love it too, and you'll be surprised to know that the Zetas are far more vicious and sadistic about it than the Reptilians are. Zetas can actually often toss me far more brutally than the Reptilians, who are more gentle. The Zetas told me they wanted to play a game of cowboys and indians with me. I can imagine that they use this line to somehow explain... sorry I just nearly vomited in my mouth there for a bit. I can imagine them saying this to the countless of children that they abduct and rape sexually. The Zetas and Thuban white praying mantis rape children all the time.

There are a lot of alien abductees out there who think that it is all beautiful that they make these precious hybrid children and oh how lovely it is to be an extended family. They try to make it seem nice. For instance, they will only show you abductees those children who are the prettiest and most well-behaved. The countless of others who were born with mental and physical handicaps are stored away in medical facilities. And not all abductees know about the widespread pedophilia which defines the hybrid programs. And those of you who think that the hybrid kids are somehow ok with it, they are not. They are forced into it.

Anyhow, I have to spare you of the details on this public website. The Zetas wanted to play cowboys and indians with me so that they could make it into a game that they capture me. I remember Andrew who is one of the men in black on the MILABS team, MILABS meaning Military Abductions, he used to always want to play cowboys and indians with me. I am realizing that my MILABS abductions were just alien abductions under disguise! The aliens have been masquerading as human military and men in black perhaps so that I would have easier to interact with them. Maybe there are no military and men in black abductions. Maybe it is all aliens in disguise.

Zetas are particularly cruel. They thrive and love to torture humans. It turns them on to treat humans like primitive animals. They love to torment me. I try to be ok with it and to find a way around how it feels being treated that way by them, but they always find new and more ways of acting cruel. They plant thoughts and feelings into me to aggravate me, and then when I am at my worst point of aggravation they turn it around and turn those feelings into sexual. Zetas and Thuban praying mantis are responsible for this. However it could be that they are being forced by the Black Ones and the Crazy Eye.

Anyhow. I was being treated as cattle and dog last night by the Zetas. And they want me to have sex with Zeta hybrids. All they want is orgies and torment. You have to understand, sure there are ways to enjoy sex. They deliberately torment a person. They don't want it to be ok. The agony they can cause a person cannot be overstated. They know a human's psyche, they know how to torture us. They don't want it to be pleasurable, intimate or sweet. It has to be agony and torment for us, otherwise it doesn't satisfy their lusts. Reptilians do some of it to humans, but then it is in a way that I can somehow relate to and get accustomed to. I have enjoyed many delirious sexual moments of passion with my Reptilians, not that they do it often, but the Zetas will not start the sexual flares until the human is first put into mental agony.

Kisses for Kissy Dragon

Anyhow, enough of that. Last night I found myself in the company of three alien beings. We walked together into a house. I was standing in front of a buffet and the black-haired human worker behind the counter asked me what foods I wanted, so I pointed to the things and he put those on a plate for me. Me and the aliens I had come with we all sat down by a dinner table in the next room. There were already almost everyone else seated and we were the last ones to arrive. I watched bright fire engine red Hamish as he walked around the table and he sat down on the opposite side from me. Already seated were Japanese men and a few United States military and men in black suits. So there we all were. It was a dinner table and most of us had a dinner plate.

I'm telling you those Japanese associates are such good and gracious hosts. They always start my Japanese-Alien abductions by ensuring that I have a dinner plate with food. I always get food from them first. If not from a banquet then they take me to an outdoors diner in the city in Japan. The Japanese also always ensure that I go to a bathroom. They often take me to a bathroom and leave me there and close the door. Regretfully when I am not fully conscious I am walking around like a vegetable and I don't quite know what I am doing. That is why sometimes at abductions I will pee on the floor and I do many silly and strange things. I wish they would just wake me up.

Bright red Hamish Dragon sat opposite to me at the table. What did I do? What do you guys think that your Eva Draconis did? I reached over the table, my whole upper body was on the table and I reached my arms toward him. Hamish's arms were already on the table. I took his hands into mine and I put my face against his hands to feel them and I kissed the top of his hand twice.

Alien cruelty

When I wake up in the morning it took me hours to get my strength together and wake up properly so that I could get out of bed. Last night and this difficult morning I realized that the Zetas actually attack me mentally. They want me to be weak, depressed, and to stay in bed a lot of the time. They seize my life and they want me to be cattle for them. They see their own needs first, or only. I am their egg donor, something to sexually abuse. They want to do experiments on me, they say. They don't care how I would want to live my life. Just because I would think that an alien visitor would be cautious and gentle with a human contact person, that is why I have been naive to think that they actually would. But I now realize that they have been torturing me for years.

I am naive as I think that I rely on the goodness in fellow humans and expect the same in ET encounters. I cherish love and kindness and compassion. I don't understand how someone could be so cruel as the Zetas are? Intentionally, purposefully. They torture me, they rape me, and not because it is an accident but because they enjoy it. And then I think that perhaps I can be ok with it. I trust in the goodness of life. I hope that I can get accustomed and that all things will be fine. But I don't know if they will be.

Surely the ETs cannot harm me. They would not cause me any injury. It is unthinkable that they would. But they torture me, and I now realize that they have ruined many years of my life and put me through unimaginable torment and psychiatric distress. I will write more about it later, but they are definitely doing mental torture on humans. And not just because they are learning about us. They do it because they enjoy it. I am naive and I think that I will always be protected. My mind does not understand the cruelty. I am all alone having to accept that cruelty as this exists.

The things that Nazi Germany and Hitler and Himmler did were all designed by the Draconian Agenda. Zetas and Reptilians, Black Ones and The Eye were all using the German perpetrators as puppets to carry out acts of cruelty and plans of world domination. Last night Orion man revealed to me that MKULTRA, the mind control programme used by the CIA in the early 1900's was in fact given to humans by the Aliens. MKULTRA came over from Nazi Germany to the United States. So when you hear MKULTRA it is not a human thing at all. It is the Alien cruelty.

The Zetas give kittens to the hybrid children. Then they train women like me to be MKULTRA Beta Cats so that we will think and act as if we are cats and be very sexual. Then they give us to those hybrid children and tell the kids that we are cats. This happened last night, and it seems to happen every night. The Zetas and Thubans are hoping to make me into a Cat mentality so that I will be easier to rape.

Captain Swansea was not a human military at all. He was a Reptilian in disguise. And I now know that Andrew was too, all those many years ago when he was tormenting me. Hamish was Captain Stephens. Captain Jacob Greene was a Reptilian. They were posing as human military, perhaps to instill respect in the human abductees, and to hide their true alien reptilian forms. I once watched as a White Lizard morphed into an Illuminati hybrid in a black suit, and then morphed further into a human man in a black suit, and then morphed back into the White Lizard.

Maybe it is a box

When I woke up in the morning, finally after struggling for hours to wake up, I realized I was under some kind of attack by the Zetas. They want to weaken me, they want me to be a victim. From the contexts of what was communicated to me then and from what I saw and sensed, Hamish had taken me yet again to the Japanese men so that they would have sex with me. Hamish tells the men that I am his to give. I also remember standing on a stage again there in the Japanese abduction. I had gone to sleep naked and I had been dressed in a short red lace dress which was see-through because it is just lace. They they had changed it into a pink one. And I had some kind of not boa but fabric over my shoulders and arms with this attire. And I had been put on that stage, undoubtedly so that the Japanese men could look at me from the audience.

They also take women like me to stand on stage in front of the US team who then get to decide who wants what woman. But I don't even know anymore if anybody are humans or what. I don't know, I don't understand, and maybe it is best not to even think about it. Maybe I can give them all away and forget that I have had alien contact. Maybe it is a box and I can close the lid and put it away far into the closet and never look back. Maybe I can come out of this unchanged, maybe my thoughts and soul can get away from this having not been challenged or changed. Maybe I can have my world back. Maybe I don't have to know about aliens that hurt people.

I was willing to go into their world, to learn about the aliens. But they are just mean. I don't know what I wanted to find in them, by asking for conscious abductions. I had hoped that they could be my friends. That I could share my whole entire life with them. But they rape me all the time. It is not sex. They could have been nice to me and then, maybe, it could have been ok. And they are pedophiles. They always want me to have sex with the hybrid children, and I won't. I throw the worst tantrums possible every time that they want me to have anything sexual to do with those children. Maybe they have stopped trying, and now they seem to be bringing me adult hybrids instead.

I hate sex. I hate everything about it and I hate that it means that somebody can come close to me and hurt me with it. I hate that it can be used to offend someone and to force someone into things and I hate that the Aliens are misusing it and I hope that all the Aliens die. I don't want alien contact. I thought it would be something beautiful but it is disgusting and it hurts me. And then I had thought that if only I get deeper into the contact then there would be some magic secret revealed that would explain all of it and make it all ok. But the more I go into it the worse it gets.

I thought I could enjoy learning about alien life. Their bodies and thoughts and civilizations and culture. But I don't feel like getting to know them anymore. They are sexual sadists, and rapists and pedophiles. It kind of ruined the fun.

And Hamish takes me to men and uses me as a prostitute. I think that can seriously challenge our friendship. Can I even adore that Turtle Sock anymore? Does he even care about me? Can I want to hug and kiss those Duck Feet ever again?

There are more things to say but I have to censor it from this website. I will probably end up removing this page entirely.

Do I even want to go see Hamish anymore? The aliens last night they said to me that they are Satanists. I said that I don't care, I would want to meet them anyway. Noteworthy, the aliens are very self-conscious when they think that I am going to see them. Reptilians worry about their smell and want to wash themselves first and put on cologne. And they all think that I will find them unattractive and hideous-looking. They are all immensely shy about their looks, and I try to tell them not to be. That they are beautiful. And I don't care about them being Satanists, or whatever their religions are. They won't kill me because I have gotten out of many abductions before.

Maybe I thought that they were my aliens, that I therefore had the right to expect things to be beautiful and interesting. Maybe I should step back into being a scientist and realize that I have got no right to try to define who they should be. So I won't derive any personal pleasure or fun from getting to know them on a personal level, but I can still research them and get to know them for what they are.

I still love my Dragon Turtle. I still want to be in his Scales. I still want to find him stomping his Duck Kissy Feet on the bathroom rug when he steps on sheets of shedded scales in the other dimension, trying to push them into the plush fibers of the rug. I still want to say "Deb Deb" with Dinosaurs when I take a bath. Do palate clicks with Hamish, and hear his comments Yes and No and Yes-No about all manner of things, and his occasional "No, Santa!".

I don't enjoy alien contact.

You were there for insemination. - Hamish I think
I wasn't sure you wanted to be a cat. - General Patton
What cat? - me
The lusty one. - says Thuban and strokes its sensitive arms

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