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<THOUGHTS
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A Strange Symbiosis
I would like to say that life has changed, but it hasn't. Life with extraterrestrials and the human military who watch over our interaction is normalcy to the degree where I don't feel that anything has changed, or become different. Not only am I a human, in the sense that other humans are human, but I am also a cattle, a sheep, in a pen in a barn and that barn is called my room, my home, and planet Earth. I am somebody's cattle. I am bred and kept and my feed is carefully watched over by the shepherd who is another species, who claims to be a superior species than I. Hamish the Red Dragon is not my pet. He is my shepherd.
I have daily contact with real extraterrestrials. I don't know what to say about it. These creatures are fantastic, in a biological sense. Intelligent creatures that think and speak, with bodies different from our own. They have culture, intricate politics, they worry about hunger and resources and reproduction, the meaning of life and spirituality. There are different alien species, and many individuals, persons, in each. Characters, people, in bodies that are different. I don't know what more to make of it. It isn't as dramatic as one would think. It is fantastic, but the anticlimax is that they are just people.
We have your twelvestrand here. - Hamish says now
I guess I should give a synapse of what my thoughts are with respect to everything. I just coo over how cute my Dragon is, and how much I detest and go hysteric about the Thubans raping me. But aside from all that, aside from all the emotional reactions. I have forgotten to be a scientist. I got too involved in... being an abductee, although I like to call that a 'contactee'. I prefer the serenity of emotional distance when adopting the role of a scientist, observer, explorer, in this contact, rather than letting them get too close to the core of what a human I am, making me sometimes all filled with love and adoration with my Dragon, or when the Dinosaurs make me laugh and snicker with them, the friendships I have in the Aliens deeper than I have ever known in any human, my true brothers the chubby Illuminati hybrid men, or the tears I cry, the sadness the hurt and pain I've felt because of what the Thuban praying mantis have put me through. So many emotions, they reach through to me on all levels. And I have forgotten to be a scientist, a reporter, to produce scientific writing and observations. I have just been living life, with the Aliens. With my Dragon Turtle and all the others. But that is what it is.
I don't know what is better. To remain distant as if looking in through a dirty window, trying to make observations and intelligent conclusions about the Aliens, about their biology and anatomy, physiology and behavior, psychology, culture, lifestyle. Or to get wrapped up in the people that they are. The gentle tender heart of Dragon Turtle, when he looks at Japanese carp and shows me, telling me how they open and close their mouth at him and that they are doing Dragon palate clicks to tell him they like him. Or all the times when Dragon tells me "No, Santa!", and I try to be as serious and raged as he is and I tell him "No, Santa, Hamish. No Santa", trying not to snicker.
This science, of Alien contact, has not been observations and scientific studies. It has been me and Hamish, sitting like best buddies on the sofa watching television. Hamish has become more of a person than any red reptile. I see him I look into his eyes, his heart and soul, even if those are made of red scales, and a tail.
Don't forget the scutes! - Hamish says now
He is Hamish. A Dragon Turtle. My best friend in the world. My Dragon Scales. (And Scutes.) He is the man who follows with me to the store and likes to smell the leather purses because they smell nice. He is the one I need to see in the mornings, or I call for him. He is the one I say goodnight to, and the last thing I see when I fall asleep. His red scales, and turtleshell hump back, follow with me everywhere I go.
I know his breathing. I can read his emotions in minute nuance just from being close to him when he says nothing and by feeling his breathing, like married couples who just know what the other one is thinking, and feeling. He shares his whole world with me. Even when he leaves to go to Komi Saki, or to visit his relatives in the stalactite caves, he looks at me from those places. (Well, it's my eggs he's after, but anyway.)
The way that his nostrils flare when he breathes. The way that he has such a sensitive nose and likes to sniff at things. He likes the smell of flowers and men's cologne, but he hates the smell of trash and onions. I even know how his feet feel the floor or rug that he stands on, that is how closely connected we are.
We are not living in the clouds tell them that. - Hamish
I would live and die for my Sock Puppet. My Dragon Feet. My Precious Turtle. If I could somehow live in him, and not have to be alone. To never have to fear for that one day when he might be gone, when he is done with my eggs.
I won't be done as long as I can eat! - Hamish
Is this what it's like to be married? To live as one with someone other? I feel his thoughts as I feel my own. I have my breathing and I have his. I feel my body and I feel his. I know his exhales and grunts and grunt-purrs, hisses and growls and palate clicks, the belches and even the goose basooning sound. I know his Yes and No and his Yes-No. I know what he likes and what he doesn't like.
I am not your, man. - Hamish
It is an interesting juxtaposition of two biological species, that somehow work together. A human woman, mammal, that somehow becomes very emotional and clings to this Dragon and he becomes ensnared in her emotional world and part of the family with those strong emotional bonds that tie us humans together and are a trademark of human life. And a Dragon, driven by his need to eat, assertions of dominance, he has broken his way into my home and claimed me as egg donor. His needs, and his experience of our two-some is entirely different. A strange symbiosis.
I have scutes on it! - Hamish turns around and shows me the top of his tail
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