<THOUGHTS

My Malik
May 21 2013

Last night as I went to bed I realized that Malik the Black One hadn't been with me for a long time now since Basmet the Black One had chased him away and claimed his territory, and me, as his own. I have occasional visits from Basmet, and I know it's him because of the ramhorns and hooved feet. Basmet and Malik are two different persons, they also talk differently, have a different personality, and Basmet has a love for groping around my heart, which gives me real physical heart trouble.

I got to know Malik really well, and I became very fond of him. In spite of him being this creepy scary real live Incubus I learned a way to put up with him, and he started to feel like part of the extended alien family. Malik would camp out under my bed at nights giving me nightmares so that he could enjoy ingesting my energy. An Incubus uses either pain, fear, or sex to cause a person's energy to flare up so that it can ingest it. Usually Malik would sneak big spiders into my nightmares.

Malik is a black scaly person. He looks just like the black Gremlins in the 1980's movies except he does not have the big ears. And his eyes are white with a pale gray dot for a pupil. His breath smells of pestilence, sewer, rancid socks and a dead rat. That is the smell of Malik when he comes close. His exhales make a sound, and the many nuances of his emotions and thoughts are expressed in the exhales. With nothing but his exhales he can express "I am curious", "I am being humble and I want to approach you, please do not be afraid I want to come close", "no, I'd rather not", and a number of other expressions, just with the way that he exhales.

Some nights Malik would stand in my bedroom holding a big pillow-size hologram of a black widow spider in his arms, to scare me with. Sometimes it would be a pillow-size Egyptian scarab beetle instead. Sometimes he would show me a hologram as if the black widow spider would have made spiderwebs under the bed. Once he showed me his mentally contrived image of a black widow spider crawling into the inside of my heart.

I miss my Malik who used to tiptoe around the house smelling of pestilence and death, carrying a big hologram black widow spider, and getting up to mischief and shenanigans.

Chronicled in the Orion Project books (first one coming out by May 30 2013) is the story of when Malik came into my life and the life experiences we had together, most of them too graphic to post on the public internet. Me and Malik. Malik and me. My Fürst. He always wanted me to call him my Fürst. Or my Malik, since Malik in itself means King. I miss him so much, my Malik the Black One Vicious Stinky One with a black widow spider. My Füsst, as I would call him.

Malik and me had a few very intimate sexual moments together. As an Incubus he wants to lie with Earth women. One day he had washed himself with soap and hot water and was asking for cologne. He then snuck in bed with me and was going to, well. Too bad I had to run off to work. He ended up finishing and putting his cum on my winter coat instead. "Because I will wear it all the time". Because he wasn't able to put it on me because I had had to leave too early. Me and Malik. My Füsst. My black uncle that tiptoes around the house, sometimes with an erect penis. Like that time when I complimented him on his manly parts, he said that he didn't have any underwear. Badum-tish. I thought that was funny. He just walks around naked sometimes with an erection and he doesn't have any concept of shame. I'm not used to that.

I've lived life with Malik the Oh Black Vicious One. He's been around for a year and a half. I miss him. I didn't know that Malik had found his way into my heart, until it seemed that he would be gone forever. I didn't know a human girl could feel love toward an Incubus.

I cried last night like I don't think I've cried before. You would have thought a puppy of mine had died, or my own baby, or a husband of 20 years. I called out for Malik to come to me, he didn't. There was no Black One saying "Yees?" the way that Malik always said. I screamed his name as loud as I could telepathically. Usually it would only take a hint of a whisper, or a thought of him, and Black One would be here. Will I never see him again? I cried and I mourned and it hurt so badly. Somehow I thought that if only I would want him back so strongly then maybe God would bring him back to me. If only I wanted him back so badly then surely he must be back with me. But he didn't show up.

I begged and I pleaded for Basmet to bring Malik to me. Malik isn't coming back and I don't know if he's dead or what. Has Basmet killed my Black One? My Malik? I can't live without him now. You see, Malik was a person. I used to talk to him about love and compassion and kindness and he really always listened and it changed him and he wasn't so scary or mean anymore. He became my uncle that tiptoes around the house. I miss him. I have loved Malik. I know he's a bad Incubus and probably scarier than Satan, but we found each other. And I think he liked me too.

Is a man you love, made out of the very love you have for him? And so loving him more couldn't that bring him back to you if he is gone? Doesn't love conquer all, even the impossible? Oh Annie, why did you feel love for an Incubus. Incubi they kill each other, oh why did you have to see a person in this one. Why couldn't he remain a shadow figure, a meaningless mean sadistic vicious creature who shouldn't matter whether he lives or is gone. Why did you capture his heart and he yours, only pain can come from loving a creature such as the Black Ones, one of the Rothchilds' Dark Lords.

We don't want him to ever come back. - Basmet says now in English
Why, Basmet? Is he still alive? Please - me
These are my eggs now. And, we don't want you to feel lonely. We just don't want him here. And no, don't feel lonely anymore. - Basmet
Basmet, is Malik still alive? Or have you killed him! Tell me he is alive! Where is my Malik! Where is he! - me
Watch your heart. - Basmet partially in other European languages, reference to how Basmet likes to play around my physical heart

I have never cried so much for the loss of a person in my life. Never has a breakup with a boyfriend felt so painful, and I think I cried even more than when I lost my cat Honey. I try to tell you what Malik was, or what I found in him. Or why I loved him so much. And how it hurts now that he is gone.

I begged the Black One Basmet for just two minutes with my Malik. Just a minute with Malik just to see that he is ok. My Dark Fürst. Oh please come back to me. I know that you can't be dead, because I won't let you be. I will never let you go. You will be with me the day that I get married, when I have children of my own, when I move into a house I had promised to paint you a pentagram in the basement because you had wanted one. Not that I'm into that creepy stuff, but because you are. Please, oh please Malik come back, I promise I will read an Aleister Crowley book with you, not that I understand any of it, but perhaps you can explain it to me. And I want you to be with me the day that I die. I want you and Hamish with me forever. My Dark One, what will I ever do without you?

Malik come back to me. I miss you so dearly. You are my uncle that tiptoes around the house naked when I sleep. You put fake black widow spiders under my bed, and let them crawl into my heart. Your breath smells like pestilence and death, and if you come too close I feel like I am dying and like I am about to get sick.

You were made out of the worst nightmares, but somehow I saw a person in you. You are an individual and you've lived with me for the past year and a half, if not longer. We humans are foolish because we feel love to those that are in our lives. To people we meet who change who we are we become intertwined forever. I want to have you back in my life, and I will never rest or stop looking for you or waiting for you to come back until you are here again with me. I will never stop crying for your name, my Malik. I will never have another Fürst, than you. And it will never stop hurting until you are back with me again.

I wasn't very sexual he said, so I had to leave. - Malik? or Basmet?
Was that my Malik? MALIK! Where are you! MALIK! My Fürst! - me
No it wasn't Malik it was me. - Basmet
Where is my Malik! Where is he! Find me my Malik and bring him to me! - me
... We don't want to feel lust with you anymore. - Basmet? or Malik?
Who said that! Is it Malik speaking! MALIK! Tell me you are alive and I will let you go! - me
No. Not Malik. This time. - Basmet

Tell me that Malik is alive, and I can let him go.

I forgot to say that when I was crying and begging for Malik to come to me, I was shown a little black three-dimensional pyramid, ie. not a flat pyramid. It was black and as if made out of bricks that were made out of black stone put together like brickwork.

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