<THOUGHTS

Love My Turtle Sock
May 29 2013

This is a story about how I almost lost Hamish. Their contract to use me as an egg donor had been cancelled by the NASA team. I pleaded for them to stay, and the contract was extended.

Last night as I went to bed suddenly I was disrupted by the emergence of a clear mental image in which somebody was shining a bright red light right in my eyes. I saw that it was Hamish behind that red light. Hamish was sending me a mentally transferred image of himself in his whereabouts somewhere that looks like an alien spacecraft. When I asked why he had shone a red light at me, he said that it was so that I would see him. He wanted to get my attention.

Hamish made an appearance although in the other overtune dimension that was more clear and close than ever before. It was different. Hamish and Orions, Dinosaurs, Thubans and hybrids all seemed so much closer, as if the veil between our dimensions was being lifted away, as if that thick wall that separates our dimensions had been turned into nothing more than a thin transparent membrane. I was shown hybrid children. One little hybrid girl was held up in Thuban's arms and the girl was had to touch my body with her hand. Then an older boy who looks human was brought in. Brown hair with a long fringe. "Is that my son? He is beautiful", I remarked. They said that they were leaving now and that this was goodbye.

The contact was clearer than ever and they were doing an abduction to bring me there. For the first time with clarity like this, rather than in obscurity. They were going to let me see everybody, to know everything, to make it real and not obfuscated. But they had said that it was goodbye. They would be leaving me after this night. I protested, and I went through a whole host of emotions that were all bad. I did not want to leave Hamish. My Aliens. I was not done with them, and they had grown a way into my heart. I am connected to them now. Was this going to be it? Would my Aliens now leave me? I was not prepared for that.

I looked at Hamish. He was no cute Sock Puppet Feet Dragon Turtle. He is a terrible looking beast. He looks but above all feels horrible. It is hard to love him, when you see him up close. But it was my Hamish. Red Dragon Turtle, with that soft turtleshell hump back on his back. Tiny little head, yellow bulging snake eyes. It was him. But he is mean, he is rude. He acts offensive, threatening, and dominating. There is something vile about him, the way that he looks, the way that he acts, and feels. I knew that I was forcing myself to still love him. To tell myself it is my Sock Turtle Feet. But they were leaving.

I fell asleep in agony over the thought of them leaving me. I do not recall a conscious abduction beyond the clearer contact I was given at night. I fell asleep and got to stay asleep in a slumber where I don't have to suffer from the thought of them leaving me. When I woke up in the morning I had already forgotten last night's ordeal. But then Hamish told me that they were leaving.

What had I done wrong? Why were they leaving me? Hamish mentioned "Haribo". It is the brand of a candy bag I had eaten Monday I think. I ate a whole big candy bag all in one day. I can do that. But I am not allowed. Not by the Aliens. I promised and I swore I would never eat sugar again! Is that why they are leaving! Because of sugar! I always take their warnings lightly! As, why could sugar be so bad? They say it disrupts my DNA and makes it useless for their projects. It makes me infertile and they have to cancel their work for a few days always after I have eaten sugar. I pleaded for them to stay!

Please stay with me, I am not done with you. This journey I am on, that changes me, where I figure this all out, where I get to know you all Aliens, and where Hamish is my best friend, let me stay on it. I cannot lose Hamish, my red scales.

My feet. - says Hamish now
Yes Hamish. Your feet. *I love them.* - me

As you can see Hamish is still here. And he has been all morning. I pleaded my case for Jack with the NASA team. My Aliens had been told to leave me, that the contract was cancelled. So they were leaving and not putting up much of a fight. They obey the agreements and what not with the human military, because they have to. The Aliens were talking to Jack with the NASA team and I pleaded for him to please let me stay with my Aliens! I was not willing to let them go! (I would die without Hamish.)

We want your eggs with our team. - Hamish
.. Yes Hamish. I want to stay with you. I don't want you to leave me. - me
And we want you to become a doctor. - Hamish
I could do that, perhaps. I want you to stay. Don't ever leave me! - me
No, Yes, maybe. - Hamish

Stay with me, Dragon Turtle.

You mustn't cry. - Hamish in my native language

I wasn't crying, but nearly so. And I remember how I cried when Malik left me. I can't live without Hamish, I can't let him go. I would go look for him, and beg to get to live with this strange creature.

I don't want more than your eggs. That is why you are here! To feed us! - Hamish
Hamish, stay with me. I don't want you to leave me. - me
We have dangerous genetic traits also. - Hamish in other language

So I pleaded to Jack, please extend their stay! And he must have. He thought he was protecting me, but he didn't know that I need to be with them. And a while earlier, just before I started writing here, I had caught a whiff of Hamish's scent. That vile visceral stink that I remember from other closer encounters that we had in the early beginning of contact. I don't know why but I want to say it smells exactly like pancreas. I've smelled pancreas in science labs at school. It is a deep visceral stink. But it is my Hamish.

Tell them, that I am not their Dragon Turtle. - Hamish
Yes Hamish. I have told them that. - me
Because they can't come looking for me. - Hamish
They won't. I won't let anyone find you. They will have to go through me first. No one can hurt my Dragon. - me

I love my Hamish, but it is difficult loving him when I see him up close. And he has been extra hostile this morning, perhaps because he was stirred up by the commotion of thinking that he had to leave, before I had their contract extended with Jack. And today I have pledged to eat no sugar, and so far so good.

Hamish is scary. But he is beautiful. His body is soaked in bodily fluids that he secretes from the orange blunt bumps across his body. He is soaked and oozes bodily fluids. My thought is that maybe those stinky viscous fluids protect him because nobody would want to bite him. Or perhaps that it is body odor and pheromones that give an olfactory signal about him to other dragons. Perhaps about his status, his gender, and also he must mark his territory with that viscous sticky fluid of his. I know that when Malik has been visiting me, Hamish will find Malik's scent in places and he doesn't like that. Draconians do scent marking, and they are very aware of the Draconian scent and they use it.

My stinky smelly Turtle. I love him. He scares me and makes it difficult to love him when I really see him. Can anyone love a Draconian? I don't think so. I don't think love is possible with them, and I don't think that they even want to be loved. I will continue to cherish him, and honor him, and continue to have him in my life. For I would not know what to do, if Hamish were ever to leave me.

This is a Dragon that still expresses sometimes intentions to kill me, to strangle me. He shows power and tosses me around in bed. But that's just him. His personality. I love him. I can't hold his scary looks against him. He is a beautiful red Dragon, soaked in smelly bodily juices. He smells like pancreas, but I love him dearly. And there is something in his emanance that is vile and horrid. It is impossible to love this beast, but I do. Somehow. I can appreciate him. I love him.

There is some kind of person behind those strange, bulging yellow Draconian eyes with a brown vertical slit. Inside that long tubular neck, covered in two neat rows of orange blunt bumps that signify Royalty there is somebody who thinks. He is bound by his culture, his heritage, race and genetics, like we are, but he is an amazing personality. He is a beautiful Dragon. He lives in that body. He has a tail, and his body is covered in red scales. He has orange blunt bumps on his arms and body that ooze a sticky viscous smelly liquid. When he is calm and he exhales in a certain way, I feel calm with him. When he grunt-purrs, belches, does palate clicks, and I've learned to do palate clicks with him.

I am also here. - says a Crocodile Man
Yes. Welcome. - me
I was palate clicking too at you. - Croc
I didn't hear that? But thank you. You are welcome here. - me
My mice, my mouse. - Croc Man
Am I your mouse? - me
Yes indeed. - Croc
What does that mean? To be a mouse? - me
Something small and furry. That doesn't quiver when it becomes afraid. - Croc
Thank you. I am honored to meet you. Are you a Crocodile Man? What are you? A Draconian Reptile? - me
Yes, perhaps. - Croc

Crocodile Men always have a deep voice. They also tend to struggle with their English, but this time ran perfectly.

I am so afraid that they would leave me. I am tied to them with this strong bond, yet they could leave me at any time. I would ask Hamish to let me live with him, yet I know that I cannot, I would not be happy living with Hamish. There is none of the love that I feel for him, in him. He is a Draconian. I have not tamed him in any way. He has not become human, or loving. But he is my Turtle, Sock. I can't let him go.

Last night there was a show about crocodiles on tv, and a Crocodile Man saw that and got real excited and he made some crocodilian vocalizations for me and showed me his black arm real closely. He was all excited. That cheered me up, and then I was humbled by the fact that a Crocodile Man would let me revel in knowing this creature. Hamish was not pleased, Hamish then put his own red scaly arm next to mine, the same way that the Crocodile Man had done with his black arm, and wasn't happy about having this Crocodile Man trespassing on Hamish's territory. Hamish wanted to make sure that I was his, no one else's.

I can't ever let them go. My Hamish, I mean. I also cherish

What about us? - a Zeta
.. Yes. You too. I want to stay with you. - me
Do you want to? - Zeta says and lets me see a mental image of himself, a white slender creature with those black oily eyes, big head
Yes. Stay with me. You and Hamish and me together. - me
We wanted to make you make love with Malik. - Malik or Zeta says
Oops. - me, as I could say no other

I was gonna say I also cherish my Dinosaurs. And Orions.

You are one of the nicest women we have met. - Zeta
Thank you. I am glad to hear that. - me

So I cannot leave Hamish, or let him ever leave me. And he stays. I have extended the contract with Jack. And don't you Jack ever take my Dragon away from me. I fear Hamish, when I see him near. He smells bad. He is mean and rude to me. He makes threats. And he pushes my body around. He likes to put me up on all fours, just to show me his dominance. He once threw me over the coffee table when Grey's Anatomy on tv wasn't real. He likes to push my body down on the desk I am sitting by, so that he can get my attention and show me his back hump, an instant sign of power and dominance, he thinks. But I love him. I love my Turtle Sock.

When I was about to meet them, finally up close and real up there, last night when they were saying goodbye, they had wanted me to see them as a goodbye. It should have been the best moment in my life, to finally meet Dragon Turtle.

Our entire group wanted to say that. - Hamish in the other language
I didn't want to lose you. - me in the other language
Cacophony! - Hamish, not angry

It should have been the happiest moment of my life, but all I could feel was pain. I was rejecting wanting to go there, because I just wanted to disappear. I was in agony over the fact that I would leave them. Luckily I fell asleep pretty quickly. And luckily Jack with the NASA team listened. I get to keep my Turtle.

A few minutes later, Hamish shows me a mental image of lupine flowers, one purple and one pink. "Look!", Dragon says. He is pleased every time that he finds flowers. And he wanted to show them to me. These are the things that melt my heart with his. See his flowers here.

Thank you for showing me. - Hamish with image of Harry Potter movie. Yes, I watched a Harry Potter movie with him the other day. He had said that he was scared of the flying black creatures, and he had also said that it was good that there were no "pumpkins" in the movie.

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