<THOUGHTS

Disaster
An Alien Abduction
October 07 2013

A fantastic true story about a real alien abduction and with real-time telepathic conversations with Zetas and other aliens added into the text as they appeared while I was writing down this story.

Last night I thought about closing down The Orion Project, which is this website and the running of a documentary on alien contact and telepathic conversations. Alien interaction seemed to have slowed down, and I had realized how much time it takes to do this work of writing and I wanted to get on with my life in a way that only someone who is not an alien abductee can do. The Aliens claim a big piece of my mind and life and I want to get on with other things.

However, this morning was an interesting alien abduction encounter so the project is still running and ongoing. I will probably never get rid of the Aliens. I had thought about telling them all to leave, and in fact I have told the Zetas, Thubans, and their many hybrid and human children to all leave me. (Of course I could not tell Hamish to leave. I said that Hamish, Reptilians, Dinosaurs, and Orions would always be welcome.)

In the Alien playground

I don't know what elements of what I see are real and what parts are dreamt, because the Aliens get me in some other dimension where I'm asleep. I think it's intentional that they want to keep their abductees asleep, of course.

I was in part in my childhood bedroom, a house we do not live in anymore. I know the Zetas can produce holographic scenarios for their abductees to make us think we are somewhere else.

Yes, we do that. It is better than providing padding. - says a Zeta now
What? Am I not allowed to speak? - the Zeta says, because Hamish nudged on him after he spoke
Those are my eggs. - says Hamish to the Zeta
I wasn't going to say it again! Those are going in my mouth! - says Hamish to the Zeta there
I wasn't benign, I said to him. - says Hamish
And this one? Me? Was Lasarus. - Lasarus was the Zeta
Hello Lasarus. I'm glad I didn't kill you. - me (keep reading the story to see why I said that)

I was being shown cartoon characters and other fictional playground characters. One I remember was a small Donald Duck. It was like they were alive but after a while I got real upset because I knew I was being tricked. That is when the figure standing in front of me was revealed to be a dark almost black Reptilian. So they were masquerading themselves so that I would not see any of the Aliens, and instead were giving me fictional characters that they know children would feel comfortable with here on Earth. (I would rather see Aliens, but when will they believe me on that?)

I don't know what to say, about the fact

I was not with their Santa. - says Hamish but I don't know what he means
What do you mean Hamish? Why did you say that? - me
Because you said a Playground. - Hamish
Yes, Hamish said that about Santa just as I went to revise the subtitle for this section

The fact that they still

We provide you with games here, too. - says Lasarus
What kind of games are they? And why do you give me games? - me
So that they don't bite you! - says someone and shows me a hybrid toddler with mouth open and small teeth in its mouth, only a few teeth

The

And also so that they don't pee here. - Lasarus
So they get a game room. For most of the time. - Lasarus adds

The fact that the Aliens will show me - an adult - fictional cartoon characters to try and make me feel comfortable while there. I don't know what

You have the right DNA strings. - says Lasarus
I do? Where did I get them from? Why are they right? - me
They were sought out, by us! - says Hamish with his mouth open
Hello Hamish. I love Hamish. My Dragon. - me
We are getting ready for the Battle. - says the black reptilian
I was not (with) socks. - Hamish, he thought about how I browsed for a picture of socks earlier, and he knows that I love to call him a "Sock", but those two are unrelated, yet he managed to piece them together
You were not at the Citadel. - says black reptile
No, this place was better for me. - me
But would you like to go? - winks Malik
Malik? Why do you keep changing figures? Be yourself. Don't change your shape for me anytime. - me

Once I figured out that they were fictional and that I was being tricked, I objected, and that is when the dark reptilian was shown to be standing before me, previously disguised. I was not scared or anything, even though they have a sinister aura.

Don't call me a black reptile. - says Malik
What are you then? What are you. - me
I am, not a toy. - Malik
Then I won't play with you then. - me
I was not angry at what you said. - says Hamish to Malik
My pou-pou! - Hamish says, in my native language

Then I was in a shower room. And then I was shown a table with three, four, or five little hybrid boys lying there in a row. Zeta Aliens said that these boys would be extracted for semen. The toddlers were maybe four years old or so

No, they were younger. - Lasarus

The babies have blonde tufts of hair on their head, and their skin is a pale gray white.

We also like to smell musk. You smelled like that when you were here. - says Lasarus, I wore a perfume called "white musk" yesterday, usually never wear perfume
The boys liked it very much. - says Lasarus, means the perfume
And, I didn't want them to see you eat! Because then they might want your breast. - Lasarus, means breastfeeding, I don't lactate
Do you realize that I find all of this offensive? That I am offended? That all of what you do violates womanhood and motherhood in the human species and is causing me a great deal of agony and brain damage? Did you know that? - me
Then you were not our flower. - says Lasarus, shows me a mental image of a yellow flower
I would ask that you show some care about the vulnerable nature of human motherhood and sexuality. I don't like how you Aliens carelessly ruin my sexuality and mental health without showing any kind of care or remorse. That is when I don't know if you are doing this damage - me interrupted
It is not punitive! - says Lasarus with a voice of panic, meaning the damage; I don't know what "punitive damage" means but I've heard it before
... I don't know if - me interrupted again
I am not a Sock. - says Hamish, "Sock" in my other language, again he thought of the mental image of the sock picture I'm about to put up here later
... So I don't know if you are doing this damage to me intentionally. Because it seems like you don't care. And it hurts me pretty badly. So it seems like you do it on purpose. To hurt me I mean. It hurts me a lot. - me
We don't want you to kill them. - says Lasarus, he was holding up a baby hybrid boy showing me as I spoke, or showing me someone else holding one up. He meant to kill these little boys, keep reading.

They were chubby babies, they had some white clothing on. But what they said made me very upset, and "very upset" is an understatement. I went berserk, even "berserk" is an understatement. I went mad with every ounce that a woman can muster. If you ever saw a woman in rage when it's as if life depended on it, or when it is that somene was about to hurt a child and something snaps in the brain and turns a woman berserk. It's the thing of those legends of women lifting a car to save a baby underneath the car. Superhuman strength, that suddenly snaps in the brain of a woman and turns her from the mellow sweet careful and nurturing entity that she normally is and into a raging animal that could take on a bear and win. I didn't know I had it in me, but I went berserk like that.

It was like a zoo, and you were our farm animal. And we also did some petting. - says Lasarus and shows me that he or another Zeta had touched one of the little boys where they shouldn't be touched by other people until they're adults, but he meant that I was the animal at the zoo and farm
They like to be kept warm. - says Lasarus and picks up the chubby baby boy in his arms and has a pale soft but small blanket wrapped around it

I'm amazed at how Lasarus can switch between pedophilia and then to a normal behavior of holding the baby close in his arms and with a blanket wrapped around it. How he can go between the two extremes and how he doesn't understand wrong from right. Lasarus is a Zeta, he is not a human or a mammal. He is an extraterrestrial

We also take care of their dung and feces. And we like to have them wrapped in warm blankets. - says Lasarus, he meant that they clean up after the children
You didn't mean to run did you, you said something about that. - Lasarus
I was furious. That is why I broke the walls, killed some Zetas, beat the babies, and ran away. - me
We didn't want to give you pills or medicine. - says another Zeta that looks a lot like Rose, the one who has that warm womanly round face and looks like she is smiling, I think she was made that way
We wanted to wait with your pregnancy, before we come in with the next one. - Lasarus or the one who looks like Rose says, but this one in my other language
We didn't want you to bite or scream at them! - says someone, I'm sure it was Hamish who said, and said either about me or about the toddler, maybe the toddler was about to bite Lasarus or scream while in his arms, and Hamish would have said that to the baby

So I went berserk.

So my eyes are not yellow. Is that why you do not like me? - says Lasarus in the other language, he knows I like the Dinosaurs a lot but I don't like the Zetas, and Dinosaurs have yellow eyes but Lasarus has green eyes, unless he wears the black lens covers that make the typical black Zeta eye
We didn't want you to fuck with our children. - says Lasarus in the other language
No. I won't do it either. - me
But we wanted you to see them doing it. - says Lasarus, he has the baby on its belly on the bedtable again
Don't show me anything. Leave me alone. I don't want you to be here. - me
We just take their nectar, and they call it sweet. - says Lasarus in English again
We don't torture them with torture devices! - says a Zeta who is holding up its index finger as if in a gesture that says "no", he wasn't angry when he spoke, and he meant the toddlers
.. Please stop raping children. That is all I ask. I don't care about anything other than that. - me
We just want their milk, extracted from their butt. - says Lasarus
No! It is not their milk! - says one Alien to Zeta
I don't want to talk anymore. Please leave me alone. - me
You are not their mother then. - Lasarus
No. I am not. I am not their mother. - me

So I went berserk because these were babies or toddlers and the Aliens were going to molest them. Well the Aliens think they are doing a science program, but me and humanity think they are doing pedophilia. So that instinct in me that runs deep snapped and I went into that berserk that women can only get when they think a child is being harmed and then all hell will break loose. And it sure did.

All hell broke loose

You are our nasturtiums. - says Lasarus to me, he means also the toddler boys
The baby boy starts crying and Lasarus then tells the boy that no I am not his mother, and then:
Look! At this! - says Lasarus and holds up his finger with suction cup on it (these Zetas have suction cups on their fingertips) and shows the baby to see if it would stop crying, kind of like how we show babies toys and things to distract them from their crying, it often works (he said in my other language)
We have them in our storage. - says "Rose" in my other language
What do you have in the storage? - I say in English
We have many, and they all need, drink milk. - says "Rose", "many" means the babies
We don't often strike at them like you did. - says Rose
I am sorry... I know I hit the children real bad. I went insane. Are the children alright? - me
No, they only need their milk and mother. And they don't have them at your nipples or breasts! - says "Rose"
You are not their Auntie, she said. - Hamish said perhaps to Thuban, but the one who "said" was me

So I went berserk. The first thing I did was scream the loudest ever telepathic scream ever possible. It even surprised myself. I was roaring screaming at the Aliens. I forget what I said but it was things like telling them it's wrong what they are doing. After screaming a few lines to them, I proceeded to kick walls. I was in some type of shower room and I kicked and punched on the walls fully intending to smash them and break the whole joint. I punched some wall panels that broke off. There were solid square wall panels fitted into square metal frames and I managed to punch some of those panels out of their frames. The panels were broken, they didn't just come out I also distorted and broke them.

No, you don't have any skeleton! - says "Rose" in a delightful way to a hybrid baby. The baby is lying on its back on a tall soft tablebed and it was kicking with its feet and hands up in the air like babies do when they are in a happy mood, and Rose was holding her Zeta Alien hand in the air above the baby's hands and feet so that as the baby is kicking and reaching around it would gently touch against Rose's hands so that they would be feeling each other, and Rose just spontaneously said that to the baby. It is true that the Zetas don't have skeleton, and we humans do, and the hybrids don't, and it is one of the main points of interest in their hybrid program, this whole skeleton thing. So that was an adorable scene to see and hear them do.

You wouldn't be locked in there, but you were, because we were afraid of what you might do, and wanted to see what's next. - says "Rose" approximately, meaning the shower room I was in after I went berserk.
Now the Alien talks to the baby and the Alien had its mouth open, and I saw those yellow baleen so it was a Thuban after all, and the Thuban spoke without words to the baby about how I'm a dog and I saw a mental image of a German shepherd dog and the Thuban goggle eyes went clockwise and counterclockwise.

Yes. He is babbling a bit. - says the Alien about the baby

Oh my god. That baby is talking to the Alien. And the Aliens, even Hamish, talk to the babies.

Yes, we tell them they don't have twelve DNA strands. - says an Alien to me
How many "DNA strands" do they have? - me
Most of them have eight. - Alien
I thought I had two? How can I have "twelve"? What does it mean? Humans have two coiled DNA strands. Two only. - me
We don't want you to feel them, because you would get angry. - says the Thuban about the feeling the baby's hands and feet kicking on a hand.
I was going to have lunches! - Hamish says to the Thuban
It is not a baby boy. This one is a girl. - Thuban says, ok so the baby is a girl, but the toddlers earlier were boys.

Where was I. So I was going berserk in the abduction and punched out some walls with formidable strength. Then I punched some Zetas. One or two possibly three Zetas got severely injured by me. You see, these guys don't have a skeleton. Their heads are big but they don't have a cranium to protect their head. I broke a Zeta's head and the contents of its

Yes, you don't want milk! - says a Thuban with a delightful voice to the baby who didn't take the milk bottle when it was handed to the baby
It doesn't have your twelve DNA strands. - says Thuban to me about the baby
I don't care. - me
Yes, but Lasarus does?!??! - says Thuban with its goggle eyes moving about, meaning Lasarus does care
Yes. You don't want milk. - Hamish or Thuban about the baby

Contents of the Zetas head came out of a crack I had caused at the lower left side of its head, its brains or whatever. Zetas don't have red blood and no red blood was coming out. Possibly a clear or yellow fluid, and what I think might have been brain tissue. I was very violent and my mind had snapped.

We didn't want you to know the smells, then. - says Hamish about the incident, maybe there is a smell from inside Zetas heads that Hamish knows, Hamish has a very sensitive nose
I wasn't going to let you be, punched anymore. - says Hamish and thinks about when I punched the walls in the shower room

I attacked

I thought it was great. - says Hamish about my attacks on those Zetas, and he thinks about how he sometimes bites into Zetas
Hamish, it was an accident. I would never want to injure a Zeta. I just went insane because they were - me interrupted
You were in our spacecraft. - says a Zeta, "spacecraft" in my native language

I brutally attacked those Zetas intending to kill them. Something in me had snapped because they were going to hurt those children. Plus I wasn't fully awake. I told the Zetas in the morning that only the primitive parts of my brain were awake. And that other more advanced parts of my brain were asleep, the parts that use logic and emotions and empathy to dictate my behaviors. The Zeta then had said that it wasn't the strangest thing that ever happened there. I asked them what was the strangest thing that has happened there? The Zeta said that once a human man had tried to have sex with a Zeta. (Zetas don't have genitals.)

Don't apologise if you snapped. - says "Rose"
I am sorry. I apologise. Did I hurt Zetas? - me
Only one. His nose got cracked. - a Zeta says
Is he alright now? Do Zetas feel pain? - me
We only feel sorrow when we get locked up. - Zeta, conveying me an image of a Zeta locked up in a small cage space and how it feels trembling and misery and sadness, a feeling that feels a lot like cold and sadness
I am so sorry. Please forgive me. And don't bring me there when - me interrupted
We know that you are not normally violent. We didn't want this to happen. - Rose
My pyy-pyy! - Hamish says to Rose, making sure that they know that Hamish owns things around here, pyy-pyy is my ladyparts, so Hamish owns my eggs and the hybrids and what not
You only broke his nose. - Lasarus about the Zeta
Is he safe? Is his body ok? I didn't want to hurt him! - me
He made a good snack. - says Hamish
Did Hamish eat him! - me
Yes, of course. - Lasarus
Why did Hamish eat him! - me
He wasn't fitted, with another one. - Lasarus, meaning nose on the Zeta
I murdered a Zeta! - me
No, you gave us lunches. - Hamish
I killed somebody! - me
Yes, but we were going to hurt your children, that is why. - says Lasarus
Hello, this is Bird. Don't do anything out of the ordinary here. - says Bird, that very very short stocky white feathered Bird Alien with winged arms and a sharp pointy wide beak
Hello Bird. I've missed you. How have you been? - me
I am here with Lasarus, and the DNA. - says Bird
Or I might peck I said! - Bird adds, yes he did say that but I didn't write it down at the end of his first sentence, I thought I almost didn't hear it but I guess I did.
I don't have teeth, I cannot eat you. - speaks Hamish to Bird in my native language (NL)

Then I thought I had a knife in my hand and I looked at the babies and I was so furious about the whole pedophilia thing I thought I was violently stabbing the three babies on the bedtable with the knife, but I must have just been punching them I don't think I had a knife. Of course I wouldn't normally be able to hurt a baby. I would have taken those children in my arms and held them close and sat down in a corner somewhere safe and not let anyone have them. That is what I would have done had I been awake. And I would never have hurt a child.

Yes, but with the circumstances, you have done ok. - says a Zeta and shows me when they energy molested me at the camp site at the lake years ago when I was 13, that's another story altogether, but it hurt me and they mean I have been modestly violent considering all the harm they have done to me over the years.
We don't want you to see them eat. - says an Alien to me about someone, maybe about the babies eating or about Hamish eating, I don't care.

Then I proceeded to punching more walls. I was in another room.

I was not your Sock?!??! - Hamish shows me mental image of the sock image I am about to post here, again, he thinks it might be about him, he doesn't like me calling him sock, but I was only going to show the socks I was wearing in the abduction

This room had dark thick plexiglass type of windows and I fully believed I was going to be able to break them. I thought I was throwing a chair into them, and then I punched them, and not a scratch. (Had it been a dream, the windows would have surely broken. This was when I was aware that I was not in a dream, but my mind was still partly asleep. I wasn't fully awake, but I was aware. That is also why I was acting illogical.)

Your DNA, is in those. - says a Zeta or Thuban Alien to me, and shows me the hybrid babies (NL)
They have a bottle. - Zeta or Thuban says and shows me the babyfood bottle again, a baby is now drinking it and holding it up on its own. The baby is on its back and holds the bottle up with its feet and hands and is drinking from it. (NL)

Then I ran. I thought I was outdoors so I took off the socks that I was wearing. I figured I could run faster if I was barefoot. The socks I was wearing were like the ones second from the right, the shortest ones but even shorter than that on the ankle. I've never in my life had socks like that so it was a surprise seeing them on my feet. I took them off and I think I just dropped them on the ground. They were white socks and I was also wearing some clothes even though I had gone to bed naked with nothing on last night.

She wanted to rest now. - says Lasarus holding the baby girl in his arms with the baby's chest against Lasarus' chest and the baby feels tired now that it's full after it finished drinking from the bottle (in my native language)

I ran and came to a huge playground.

It doesn't just have your DNA. - says Lasarus about the baby (NL), meaning it also has some man's DNA, as well as their Alien DNA
It has slept now. - says Lasarus, the baby is now laying on its back on a soft bedtable (NL)
You do not have a pyy-pyy, I said to her. - says Hamish to the baby girl (NL), because the baby girl does not have human genitals, meaning it cannot reproduce. Reproduction is the whole point of this.
Making eggs is. - Hamish says, ie. being "the whole point of this"
You do not have a pee-eye. She does not see pee. - says Hamish about the baby girl (NL), Hamish showed me a closeup of the baby's big Alien eyes. Hamish's thoughts were that the baby does not notice when it pees, that she does not see it.

I ran across the playground. I had thought I could escape from this place, I had thought that maybe I was outdoors and here on Earth, but I was in a humongous indoor playground area with children's playground things for

We also have bikes here. - says Lasarus
And no, do not worry about her pee. - says Rose and picks up the baby girl, she said this to Hamish or Lasarus
She has got pee-covered. - Hamish points to the baby girl (NL)
Hamish? Did the baby pee? It is normal for babies to pee. Sometimes Hamish pees too. - me
She has got four teeth. - says Hamish about the baby (NL)
I have got more than four. - me (NL)
She does not have a pee-covered eye. - Hamish (NL), difficult to translate, but Hamish means that the baby does not see, or notice, when it pees. Of course Hamish notices.
Sometimes they vomit here. - says Rose to me about the babies, and in the act of putting back the baby on its back on the bedtable.
They are not vermin, can you see? - Rose says to me about the babies
I'm not so sure about that. I'm upset about the pedophilia. You Aliens rape and molest the children! - me
She is only a baby. - says Rose about the baby hybrid girl (NL)
I am not her mother. - says a Zeta to me about the baby, part English part my native language

So I ran into the huge indoor playground. There was a huge wooden thing for climbing in with several levels and staircases. I thought there was water below, but I don't know what part I was seeing right. Then a team of

Yes, we brought in the ambulance. They were sorry for you, they said! - says Rose or other Zeta, adding to what I'm writing here, the team who were coming for me
Were they humans or Aliens? The team? - me
She only eats grass, look! - Lasarus holds the baby infant girl in his arms and points the baby's arm toward me and wants the baby to look at me. He means that I'm a vegan now, I only eat grasses, the Aliens call all my vegetable foods "grasses", anything from beans and grains and fruit everything made from a plant is grasses to them.

A team of three, four or five people in black onepiece like latex suits or something were coming after me. I thought they were human but I could be wrong. In the morning when I woke, I was told by the Aliens that they had chosen not to use any weapons against me. So they were just trying to capture me in any other means. The team were spraying a liquid at me. My thought was that it must be mace, because mace was the only thing familiar to me from here on Earth that it could be. I don't know what it was, probably not mace. I think it might have been... no, now I know what it is, haha!

Because then I ran further but then I got scared because I thought I was in a dark scary place.

She has got a good one. - says Hamish (NL) and thinks about my eggs or ovaries or something
.. Hamish! - me says delighted cause I love Hamish
Hamish Hamish HAMISH! - me
I am a doctor here. - says a Zeta, either Lasarus or Rose (NL but said "doctor")

So I stopped running and I squatted down and I was calling for help and asked someone to please come find me. I stopped running and I stopped fighting and I chose to go completely limp and not resist anything at all. Because I didn't know where I was and it was a scary dark place and I didn't want to be alone.

We were not with a butt doctor, were we? - says Malik
I don't know Malik. - me

So I went completely relaxed because I felt so safe when somebody actually did come to me. It was the people in the suits.

You were not angry were you? At our butt doctors I mean? - Malik
No. I am not angry at butt doctors. What do butt doctors do? - me
We shone a light on your eye, to see if you were awake. - Rose or other ET says to me, showing me an image that they had shone the little red light into my eye

There was a time once when I almost suddenly got swooped into the Alien quarters and where I was seeing Hamish the red Reptile and there was a red little light being shone and blinked on my face and into my eyes. Hamish then had said that they were doing that to try to get my attention. It's like when a doctor shines a little pen-light into a person's eye to see if they are awake if their pupils are reacting. I don't remember the red pen-light from last night.

Yes, thank you for telling us you went berserk, it was funny to watch. - an ET says amused
And! Look at that! - an Alien says and shows me one of the Japanese men sitting squatting down on a floor somewhere
Why is that Japanese man there? Is he an abductee? - me

Zetas wash my fingers and toes

So I was completely relaxed and felt so safe to have someone with me. I was standing there naked on a floor in a room with black floor and black walls and people in black onepiece rubber suits were washing me. One person held my left hand with my arm extended out to the side, and someone else held my other hand and extended my right arm to the side, but gently and not stretched out too far to where it would hurt or not feel comfortable.

And that is when the best thing in my life happened.

I ate him next. - says Hamish
No! You didn't eat that Zeta who held my hand HAMISH! - me
Hamish conveys to me the smell of urine. I can smell the unmistakable smell of ammonia in urine via Hamish's conveyed message. Is it the baby's urine? Hamish sure has a keen nose, and he always comments on the smell of urine when somebody peed there.
We didn't have him for breakfast. I had him for lunch! - says Hamish
Whom did you eat? - me

Someone was holding my left hand in its hand. I felt the hand that was gently holding around my wrist. That is when I felt that there was no thumb on either side of its hand. There was no thumb! It was a long slender hand

We also play music. To our little ones. - says a Zeta (NL)
What kind of music do they like? Do Zetas like music? - me
We don't need them! - says Rose or other Zeta, not angry

A long slender hand without a thumb on either side of the hand. Four long fingers. The hand was the softest hand I ever felt. A Zeta Alien was holding my hand and I got to touch and feel its hand.

We also touch your butts! - says Rose or other Zeta, not angry
I wish I was awake for all of this! Why don't I remember! - me

A Zeta now shows me a little hybrid child on the red car. Remember the red toy car that a child sits in and uses its feet to push forward with? Remember the little boy from when they first started to show me the hybrid children? It was his favorite toy. This is now a different child, but on the same car.

Then, in that abduction scenario, the Zetas were washing my fingertips very gently. That is why they were holding my hands. They were wiping a white brush on the fingerprint areas of my fingers. It was wiping something that felt wet and felt very cold on my fingertips.

Yes. This was with Lasarus. - says Lasarus
I remember the fingertips. Somebody was washing my fingers. - me
Do you remember Anu? - someone
I don't know who Anu is. The Reptilians told me about Anu a few days ago. But they didn't tell me who Anu is. - me, I now see the child pushing on that red car again.

And they were also doing this on my toes. My right foot was lifted up, and I let them do this, and they were brushing that same cold wet liquid on the fingerprint pads of my toes.

Back on Earth

In the morning when I returned I remembered it all. The Zetas told me that they had wanted me to keep my socks on. I had removed my socks and that is why they were washing my toes and fingers. I know the Aliens are very concerned that I am covered in dust mites (they call it "lice") and bacteria, so they don't want me to touch things over there.

The Zetas had thought that I had been running away from Zetas and they thought I had been scared of them. They were slightly surprised when I said I was running because I was upset, and when I said I was not scared of them. It was a surprise that they don't know everything and that they can even misunderstand things.

The Zetas were not at all upset that I had assaulted the Zetas or children. Zetas told me that Zetas are machines or robots. I told them they are people. So they are not concerned if a Zeta gets killed, they think they can always be replaced.

While I was back here, I was aware of what was going on there (like I am here in glimpses I see of them when they talk to me). Hamish started eating on the Zeta I had injured, and Hamish called it his "lettuce" or "salad". The Zeta who was being eaten thought that it was good to die so that it would not have to do any more medical procedures, I forget what specific procedure it thought of. It was not afraid of dying, but it seemed a bit agitated and stressed out. No one was upset that I had assaulted the children. Violence seems to be so normal there, that if a human goes berserk and attacks people, nobody thinks it out of the ordinary.

We even have a bomb. - says a Zeta. I know the Aliens supposedly have bombs placed here and there, to force them to do work.

Last night the Zetas showed me a mental image of one of my siblings abducted and there and I got really upset. The Zetas abduct people who visit me in my home. I had told the Zetas that I would have to live under a tree in the forest so that they would not hurt the people in my life. I had told the Zetas to stop abducting me and the people in my life.

When I was coming back from the abduction, I was fully aware during the entire transition from there to here. I think I am always living in another dimension where the aliens are, and that times when I am here in the human world are times when I am really asleep and dreaming. I am always there.

We don't want to have you in our phylum. - says a Zeta now

Also when I woke, the Zetas were telling me that they had not finished with their work, that they still needed to collect a fecal sample from me. And I also got to see a very close visual image of my Hamish Red Dragon. He was so cute, with that cushion humpback on his back and red color and tiny sock puppet face. I love my Hamish. The Aliens also told me that they want me to have sex with some man to get me pregnant. After I finished my shower they said I could have sex with Mr. Biltjev. Remember Mr. Biltjev? I wrote about him once earlier on this website. I also heard Suleski talk to me in the morning.

I don't know how to summarize, what the ending thoughts should be. That I love Hamish? That the abduction was horrible because they involve those children sexually at a too early age? Or how wonderful it was to be there, fully

See, that we didn't have you strapped down? - says "Rose" when I was going to write about how I stood there in that room with the Zetas or someone washing my fingertips

Or to be there fully awake with Zetas brushing my fingertips with a cold moisture and I get to touch the softest hand of a real alien Zeta. Or that I might have actually hurt a Zeta? Or that I hurt those children and didn't mean to? I don't know how to summarize. It's too much, of too many things.

It is our zoo. - says a Zeta
Yeah, and I want you to go into my mouth! - says Hamish to the Zeta, keeping the Zeta in check, or perhaps just expressing his hunger to the Zeta
We are not with tomatoes anymore. - says Hamish and I see his fantastic Alien Dragon face and his upper eyelids are closing in a smile, as he thinks about tomatoes

Yesterday Hamish and me talked in his Draconian language. I was saying that I love him, and Hamish perhaps unintentionally taught me how to do a Draconian purr and palate click. Sometimes when I talk to Hamish, he takes what I said and he repeats it in his own Draconian vocalizations. So he did a Draconian purr exhale, which is just a modified roar, and then a palate click belch. So I figured out how to repeat the sound I had heard to him telepathically, so I was purring and did a palate click at the end. Oh it was fun! Oh I love my Sock Turtle Foot!

Don't you love those, anymore? - asks Lasarus or other Zeta and shows me the hybrid babies
I don't know. - me
You are not their mother then. - Lasarus, picks up a baby into his arms
It's too painful. So I can't feel any love then. - me
What is painful? - Lasarus
To, being a mother? Does that hurt? It hurts? - Rose or Lasarus or both in parts
It hurts that you Aliens rape and molest those children. It hurts me. It hurts them too. That is why I'm upset. That is why this is difficult. - me
Do you remember that! - Thuban or Zeta shows me image of when I was a tiny little girl in that bright plastic orange child's feeding chair in the kitchen. I had totally forgotten, but now I remember.
I remember. - me, I smile
I remember that chair. But I was never molested as a child. - me
We don't have the same DNA strands, you and me. - says Rose
I don't want, children to be sexually assaulted. - me
Well, and meanwhile, you eat that strawberry. - Hamish shows me a mental image of the big red strawberry I ate yesterday. Hamish is of course offended that I would eat anything red, "that has his DNA"
It doesn't smell right to me. - Hamish, he means he had sniffed the strawberry and that it does not smell like Hamish. I pick up on what they think and feel when they speak, so there's always more than the words.
It wasn't like with my coffee. - says Hamish and his eyelids close, he shows me or thinks about the coffee a friend had when I had the strawberry yesterday. Don't know what Hamish thought about here.
Outrageous! That she wouldn't give us any more ovum! - says Rose while holding a baby against her chest and tapping it gently on its back or bottom like how parents do to help babies fall asleep.

In the morning when I had returned, the Zetas also said that the Zetas would be hiding out in my closet, and said that they do that during the days to see what I am doing and to spy on me.

Never the same again

Hello again. It is the evening on October 7. Well past midnight now. I will never be the same again. I keep thinking about when the Zeta held my hand and I can't let go of the thought. I will never be the same again after a Zeta held my hand and I touched its hand and noticed that there is no thumb on either side of its hand and how soft the hand was. The skin was so slender and smooth and ever so soft. I will never be the same again. And how they brushed my fingertips with those cold damp brushes.

Something has changed in me forever, because me and a Zeta were holding hands. I don't know what has changed. And I don't know how to be or what to think after this. All I know is I want to go back to them. I need to see them again.

Don't worry about it, you won't have to. - says a Zeta
But I want to come back. - me

I don't know the words to explain it. It's like I need to see them again so that I can know what has changed. It's something big and it's also something small. It feels normal and natural like no big deal to be with the Zetas, but it also feels bigger and more meaningful than life itself, than life on Earth I mean. I just have to see them again.

And earlier an Alien showed me a mental image of a Reptilian tail, the tail was casually resting against the floor somewhere. Seeing a Reptilian tail made me start to cry. Because it's the tail that belongs to the body of a conscious creature. A "somebody" who has a tail. A person, but with a tail. So I cried when I saw that. I've been very sentimental today. Even every time I've seen Hamish or heard him talk I've cried. Because they're sentient Reptilian people. They are persons but their bodies are reptiles with tiny heads and tails and scales. They roar and demand dominance and when I honor them their eyelids close in a smile.

If the upper eyelids of Draconian eyes close diagonally then it means that they are happy or content (diagonally from inner corners of the eye and down to the outer corner of the eye).

We also have torture rooms and victim chambers. - says the black reptilian
Ok. I don't like that. - me

And if they like something really much then their eyelids cover the entire eye. Now that is a big smile, when their eyes completely close. And when their lower eyelids close it means that they are smiling and laughing, then they are humored. Upper eyelids means smile and content, lower eyelids means laughing when they are tickled and pleasantly amused by something.

Then you should ask yourself, at what times does a Reptilian laugh when its lower eyelids are closing? It is difficult to say. Obviously their sense of humor isn't the same as ours. Just look for examples throughout The Orion Project website and books for cases where they "laughed" to see in what circumstances it occurred.

I need to be with Hamish. I just want to be with him and never leave his side. I want to live out my life next to Hamish for the rest of my days. He is such a cutie. He has those small flat red duck feet with webbed toes. His feet are very sensitive.

I do not have a poo here. - says Hamish in my native language, cause sometimes he does

Hamish means more to me than anything else. And a Zeta has touched my hands,

And you also beat, and strike at our children! - says Zeta, true dat

Time for bed, but I can't find a way to summarize this day's alien activities. I am changed forever and I don't know how to think or feel about it. It just is but it's not something I can contemplate over. It's a good thing, but I don't know how.


Earlier the Zeta said "We don't want to have you in our phylum". Here is a chart that shows you what Phylum means. Every organism on Earth is given a latin name and different species are grouped together depending on how they are genetically related. If the Zeta means that Zetas and humans already differ on the Phylum, it makes sense.

However it is interesting that the Zeta would (perhaps) still consider humans and Zetas to both belong to the Animal Kingdom, so the Zetas might consider themselves Animals too. Zetas time and time again tell me that they do not have a skeleton. Here is the definition or phylum Chordata which we humans belong to, and which Zetas say they do not belong to. If I'm not mistaken, Chordata are all organisms that have a spinal cord.

Unless the Zeta was just using scientific terminology to express that they "do not want to have me in their gang", to not want to be "associated" with me.

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