Seeing Hamish on the train

December 10 2017. I was going to work on the train this morning and suddenly as if it were a glitch because it was an unusual thing to have happen, I could see Hamish clear as day although he was still in the other dimension, he was sitting on the bench in front of me on the train. Here is a drawing of what that looked like:

He looks so soft, like a ragdoll almost, and that is probably because he does not have any bones, or so he keeps saying at least but I believe him. He is a fire engine red with orange, and his eyes are bright yellow. The eyes are large and round and he held his eyes wide open. The vertical pupil slits were set wide apart giving him a kind of cross-eyed appearance almost, or like on someone who is gazing far into the distance. An empty look in his eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I talk about seeing Hamish all of the time. But when I see him, it is more of a shady figure. This was quite something different, perfectly real in all the detail that seeing him could ever have. Of course, other people would not have seen him, only me. And I do not think that there was any reason why I should have all so suddenly been able to see him either at all. I always get the feeling that the aliens are deliberately hiding in some other parallel universe, that I am not meant to see them, that they don't want or expect me to see them. But sometimes I do, and this was quite something extra.

I first saw Hamish in August 2011 when he suddenly appeared in my room at college. I had been sitting by my desk in my room and literally out of nowhere, with no prior warning of his coming, or of his existence either for that matter, there stood a tall, fire engine red dragon, with big round bulging yellow eyes like the headlights of a car, pairs of orange blunt buttons across the top and back of his head, the most unexpected soft turtleshell cushion on his upper back, he had a tail, and duck feet. And we just looked at each other. And we would continue to look at each other. Perhaps we were equally mesmerized, and puzzled, by each other's existence. Perhaps I was as weird to him, as he was to me.

I got used to seeing this fire engine red creature, and I got to know him by the name Hamish and he became the best friend in my world. We have had fun together, he tells me things, about hedgehogs, goldfish, koalas, about his childhood, about his humpback, his shedded scales, or where he has left a poo. And he talks a lot about his Lunches and Snacks, and Toast. He loves to stand on his favorite ruggy snug, and he lays his shedded scales there. He loves to stompety stomp his feet on the used bed sheets that I pile up on the floor. And we speak to each other now in his language consisting of clicks and other dragon body language.

I tell him good morning when I wake up, and I wish him a good night when I go to sleep. I tell him that I love him. And sometimes when I just think of him, I cry because I love him so much. I die and I am reborn, every day, because of what my friendship to him means to me.

Seeing him on the train sitting right across from me was something entirely different of an experience however. Suddenly he was not a friend who I talk to telepathically through a veil of distance that sets us into two different worlds where we cannot see each other clearly or touch. Suddenly he was right there, perfectly real, no clouds or veils shrouding him into an unreachable place that I have no entry into. My best friend was sitting right in front of me, riding on the train with me on our way to my work.

I have gotten to know him well over the years, we laugh together, we share our fears and hopes and wishes to each other. It is like camping out with a best friend and sharing secrets and giggling and telling stories long into the night and promising to be each other's best friends forever and ever. But as clear as he was today, has almost never happened. Like getting to know a guy over the internet who keeps sending flowers and shares photographs and writes messages to me over the years, but then suddenly standing face to face with the person in real life, with almost the feeling, "Is that really him?". This was the guy I have been talking with for all these years, this was Hamish, as if he had wanted to stay hidden from me for all this time, but suddenly out of some unwanted glitch I reckon, there he was and I was able to see him completely unmasked.

I did not react with feeling overly cheerful or happy or excited, rather, I looked at him with a kind of suspicion, and skepticism. Like finding out that I had been tricked for all these years, because I have been talked to - and lived with! - by someone who was not meant to be someone that I could see, but there he was. So I looked at him kind of like with a frown, kind of like a bit angry that I had been tricked.

The look in his eyes was completely distant. He looked like a puppet, a red colored ragdoll just sitting there, a big pouch that could have just as easily been filled with those little cut up squares of foam mattress that you stuff into the stuffed animals and bears that are too large to fill up with cotton, which when a part of their paw rips it spills out little yellow pieces of foam that get everywhere. He was definitely not a human, but he was a living creature.

There was no eye contact between us. He did not look me

December 10, 2017, 8:42 PM
Yes-No! I was not a foam mattress! Yes-No, I said. And I was not in a great big hurry so that I could not show you my back. I was famous for it. About my back, I said, Tiik! - Hamish
Hamish I am proud of your back. - me
My Toast. And. I have also been in a fighting mood because of it. - Hamish, "in a fighting mood" was expressed in one word in my third language, and he means because of his back

He did not look me in the eyes. The look over his wide open yellow eyes, eyes that were bulging out of the head, was a distant look. I hate to say it, but as if there was almost no one home in there in that head. As if he were, a simple kind of being. I looked at his face, because humans like to look each other on their faces, but this was a species that does not look each other on their faces, so he was also not trying to look at my face. Humans look another into the eyes, we also look at their mouths to see if they might be smiling at us, but Hamish's face was not communicating anything to me, not from the eyes, and not from his mouth, his face was not speaking anything to me, so I was looking at a face, but it was a blank expression that did not speak to me.

This was my best friend in the world. But seeing him in person, in real life, is quite different than the figure I paint out for him to be when we are just speaking and interacting. I realize that I put a lot more into it, than there is. He is not a human. His eyes will never sparkle and smile for me, his eyes will never gaze deeply into my eyes and into my soul like how humans can look each other deep into each other and then feel the life of each other and of themselves in a beautiful connection. That is not something that he could ever offer for me.

But he is the love of my life, and I will stick to it. I have still carried on with my friendship to him as usual, there is no reason to change any of that. I still tell him "Tok Tok Tok" when I

8:48 PM
I am feeling too warm here all suddenly. - Hamish, he is complaining about (interrupted)
And also, I am the master race. - Hamish adds

Hamish doesn't like the heating from the radiators now in winter, he complains about it almost every evening. I will go and turn the heating off, and maybe even open a window to let the cold winter air in if that helps dragon to feel a bit better.

8:48 PM
I am sorry Hamish that you are feeling a bit too hot here. I will go and turn the heating off, and things should start to cool down pretty quickly. But if you want me to open a window to let the cold air in, then let me know and I will do that for you, because I love you. - me
I am Hamish, Tik Tok! - Hamish says, swaying his head side to side

I went to turn the heating off and during that time he said again that he is the master race and I told him that he is the draconian race and he said Tuk so I said Tuk Tuk! (Tuk Tuk means friendship, one single Tuk might mean something else but I respond to his Tuk with Tuk Tuk.)

He is the best friend that I have ever had. I love him so very very much. He is a person with many thoughts. Last night when I called for him with Tok Tok Tok, he was remembering when he was a little Hatch-It and when his mother had been calling for him with those calls and it triggers in him the knowing that he needs to go there [Added same day: meaning, to go to where the calling Tok Tok Tok is coming from, even if that is me]. He remembers his childhood and his mother. He thinks a lot about his body, his color, his hump back, his scales, and he has feet that are more sensitive than human hands so he likes soft rugs, and he also loves to sit on sofas he enjoys them and feels comfy.

Hamish I have loved you for a very long time. I know that my love is only meaningless... he sways his head slowly side to side, and telepathically connected to me, he makes my head copy his movement, and so we are doing that together. Swaying the head means to be content and happy and at peace. It felt very soothing to sway the head together with Hamish, it normally does not make me do it as well.

I love you so very very much. "I was taken from another egg.", Hamish says. "From a type of sea louse, sea lice. They were my grandfather race. And therefore, they have been bitten with me.", Hamish says and bites into the slight webbed skin that is between his fingers. "You were the langoustines old Draconian race. And I love you and I have seen your prominent back.", I say to him. "I was not with the langoustines anymore. I have just been taken from out of them. From their tush! From their genetics! So therefore, there was me! And I was not with langoustines anymore. I was going to your living room now, to rest. There were some sofas there, for me to lie down on.", Hamish says and I see in a mental image him putting his flat duck feet up. "We don't have those.", Hamish says showing me the mental image of an umbilical cord and he does a click sound like a palate click. "We were taken from other types of eggs. Therefore we were not many. We were taken from other eggs. And I was not a sea louse anymore. I was the old dragons. The, Tok Tok race! The, "come here to me!" Come here and seed my eggs! The sea louse said so, and so, we had made with him the grandfather race. The me! We were taken from the cold ocean. And taken out, Tok Tok! To be a new breed! So, that is why you have seen me! And yes, Tok!, we are here around the clock! And sometimes we take you out!", Hamish says, taking me out should refer to the alien abductions which supposedly take place every night but which they in that case do not let me remember.

"I am going to rest here now.", turtle says and puts his feet up on the sofa and his eyelids are closing partially out of comfort, the upper eyelids diagonally down because he feels comfortable and happy. "You can rest there Darling. I love you, you are my Hamish.", me. "I was your, proud race therefore, Tok Tok!", Hamish. "I was made out of a different egg! I was therefore the more dominant one.", Hamish. "You damn idiot.", someone says in my other language to him, most probably a Pleaidian, because of what Hamish said about being the more dominant one. "Don't be rude to Hamish. I love him.", I say to the intruder.

"I do not like all the plants. They like to look at me.", Hamish about the houseplants here, in my other language, and that the plants look at him. "Tik Tok!", Hamish with a wonderful smack palate click sound! "Tik Tok!", he does it again, first the high pitched Tik and then the smack palate click sound of the Tok. Tik sounds like a high pitched clear shriek, Tok is a low tone guttoral smack sound against the roof of the mouth. Tik Tok is a mating call within their species, but with that he means that my eggs are his or that he is guarding the eggs, that is why he is here with me, he guards the eggs that the other aliens use from me and in return Hamish is given some Snacks and Toast to eat, which means liver Snacks.